State of mind

Most of the time I am occupied with trying to forget. I try to push thoughts of my dad to the bottom because they end up being nothing more than just very sad thoughts. I try to impose other positive thoughts over it. At times I succeed; at times I don't. Night is the real enemy. It is long and cold. The sun brings in some warmth. Survival instinct takes over. Laughter, banter occupies my mind; the fear about the unknown is pushed aside.